I woke up really late and found my mom making a tearful phone call. Lewis was refusing to eat or drink anything- which I had known the day before. She talked to a vet tech at the humane society who said his symptoms were signs of either kidney failure or progressive diabetes. Either diagnosis meant he was suffering. It has been clear to me for a while that he was not doing so well, so there really was no purpose in taking him into an appointment. (They were booked for the next 3 days anyway). My mom made an apt for 2 pm, and we took him in to be put down. It was sad that it was just the two of us- my dad was at work, and Claire was still camping. (Sorry we decided not to tell you till you were back Claire, we didn't want to ruin your trip :'[ )
Our last hour together was very bittersweet. I was angry with him because when I take him outside he forgets how much pain he is in and runs around like a little puppy; this day was no different. I threw his toy to him a couple times- and even though he could not run very far, he seemed happy as ever. I could see in his eyes that he was not well- but a stranger would have not been able to tell there was anything wrong. My mom told him to go get in the car (he was a very smart dog) and he got all excited and did what he could to jump in. I wanted to strangle him for being so happy because I was a mess. Looking back I am glad that he got to go with one last burst of energy. I would not want him to be so sick that we had to carry him to the car, because by that point he would be clearly suffering. I think God did it the way he did on purpose.
The worst part of the day was when everyone was gone at home but me and I found myself talking to myself because this time- I really was all alone. Before we left to the humane society my mom asked me to take a picture of him, but ironically, my camera died as I was taking it. Must have been meant to be. I think it is better to remember the good times anyway. Here is a picture of me laying with him the year we got him.
It is not easy saying goodbye to something you have known for half of your life :(
He was very much a big part of my life, more than the average family dog. He really was like another member of the family, and he will be missed very much. I know he is in a better place now and there is no more pain for him, but thinking about that doesn't help me feel less lonely.
Here's to my dear and loyal friend:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH-T3V9EC5s&feature=related
Hear You Me -Jimmy Eat World
(ignore the video part)
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