My Heart’s my Only Treasure

 Lyric from Tyrone Wells "Wondering Where You Are." I thought it summed up the day pretty well :)

Today was a very chill day. I made a dent in the endless journey of cleaning my room. I finally found a way to arrange it so that I can perfectly hang all of my pictures. My mom was going to help me but I got distracted organizing other things. Karla made a surprise visit, just her. I was so excited to see her! I NEVER get to see her without the girls, so when I do, it feels like the old days before she had kids. Like I am not an adult but a little sister again. (cheesy? yes haha). I made home made lemonade, which turned out perfect this time. Karla and I went upstairs to talk with my mom. We were laughing about something I cannot even remember. I feel too lucky to have two sisters. Everyone should always have a sister.
I started going through some of my mom's old jewelery while we were talking. There was a big box filled with little boxes and many of them where empty or had out-dated funky stuff in them. One box had the tiniest gold locket in it. My mom said that my grandma gave it to her but she never wore it because it is so small. I tried it on and it fit perfectly so she said that I could have it. I know this seems silly but it really made my day because secretly I have always wanted a locket. I don't think I own anything that was once my mothers either. I am pretty sure it is my new favorite piece of jewelry. It is so simple and delicate. It looks kind of old fashioned. Love it :)

Kat picked me up to go to church at 6. It was crazy that I haven't been to church since school got out and the message just happened to be about being a leader. They talked about how we really all need to be leaders and step up, and they mention small group leading a lot. It was something I really needed to hear, I am glad Kat was with me too! Here are some verses that I think I need to keep in mind;
1Timothy 3
 ¹Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. ²Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, ³not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.  ⁷He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace.

 Sorry to write a ton, but I am bored! When I got home I curled up in my newly arranged room (love it!) with a chai tea latte, my pj's and my computer. My new show, "If I Can Dream," has a website with 60 cameras 24/7 and my favorite person on the show, Kara, decided that she was going to start a weekly book club with her viewers. They are reading "The Irresistible Revolution," by Shane Claiborne. I ordered the book but it has still not come in the mail. Anyway, people watch the live video of Kara and send in their thoughts via twitter and she reads them and gives feedback. She is such an inspiration. I love that she fearlessly talks about her faith while being viewed by the world. Not the typical Hollywood thing to do, I give her props.
I followed the discussion even though I have not read any of the book yet. My favorite part was when a viewer asked about the stress of being a "perfect Christian" which is something I stress about all the time. I always feel like I want to be the best I can be but also don't want to come off as a self-righteous church freak. I hate when people say "live in the moment" or "life is too short to hold back," because those seem like excuses for careless behavior, but me thinking so seems incredibly "judgy."
Brandt, Kara's friend talked about how many of the wicked in the Bible were in the kingdom of God and were less self-righteous than many followers of Christ. He said that these people were measured more by the intent of their heart and not by their actions. This may seem like an obvious conclusion but it really set me at ease. I feel guilty sometimes for not doing more volunteer work or for not going to church every single Sunday.Sometimes I feel that people see me as self-righteous when I say no to certain activities. Or maybe when I do do something that other people don't necessarily approve of, then I am being a bad Christian. I should stop explaining why I decide the things I do and just know in my heart why. I need to remember to forget what everyone around me thinks and know that only God and I know the intent of my heart, and I need to remember that that is all that matters.
Sorry if that was confusing, but it helps me to write it down so I can remember it in the future; even if I am the only one who understands.